(Dear Anne, You are the only one that might happen to read these so I figure it is appropriate to address this disclaimer specifically to you. :) The post you are about to read might make you think I am kind of lame. I will make my next post bubbly and upbeat. For now, this is what you get. Give Cohen a hug from me.)
I am officially part of the “I’m over Law School” fan club. This is a bad thing knowing that Steve hasn’t even made it through the first semester yet. Right now I am in poor pitiful me mode and I am not even the one in law school. Oh man, there are still 5 ¾ semesters to go! We got married, had a couple months of laziness and then it was time to get the show on the road. Off to school he went and I didn’t complain. August, September, October and even November all passed by without a hitch. Yes I constantly moaned and groaned every time he popped in for a short time period here or there and then would dash off again back to hover over his books. However, the protests and dramatic pleading was simply a way for me to showcase some of my drama skills. I wasn’t truly that distressed about the demanding schedule of a studioholic. The first couple weeks of law school lent itself to laying some ground rules. No I was not ok with never hearing from or seeing my husband in a day. (That is aside from the time each morning I resignedly make my way out of bed and pass by him once as I run out the door to work. However, I don’t count the morning encounters because I am not a morning person and I rarely utter many words before 7 a.m. This is a true fact, you can ask all of my previous roommates.) That was the first piece of business we had to iron out from the get go. The semester had just begun and I could not handle that kind of schedule for the next three years of my life. After a few days of this I turned into the mean, one word answer wife until we were able to converse and get down to the details of how to combine our 2 lives embedded in the mist of law school. So that happily came to a stop and often Steve headed home earlier in the day to eat dinner and take a break around the same time I ventured home from work. Then off to studying he went and I was satisfied. Soon, the habit of making our apartment his study sanctuary started to become a more frequent occurrence. I liked that too. Although we didn’t really hang out, he was around and we had 5 minutes here or there throughout the evening.
Throughout this first semester, every time I talk to my brother and sister in law they bring up the subject of how I am coping with life as a secondhand law schooler. They too were newlyweds that dove into law school. The journey was a long and arduous one for both of them. I was somewhat perplexed when I would compare my notes with theirs on how I should be feeling. I didn’t feel lonely, bored, like I needed new hobbies, or needed to find new friends in a new place away from family/friends. I never knew how to respond after listening to my brother and his wife discuss the woes that Steve and I should be facing. I guarantee Steve was relating because he is the one actually in law school. I am simply the spectator. I was given all kinds of suggestions of how to get through the next three years. They all sounded like great ideas I just didn’t feel like anything about what this first semester was turning out to be involved implementing any survival methods for me. Law school was a piece of cake on my end. I can’t say the same for Steve.
Well, everything I heard over and over again from my wise family members finally came to light. I don’t know why I thought that I was an exception to this rule. As of late, I am the epitome of a disgraceful law school wife. I am not sure why the onset of being so over law school didn’t happen until now but it happened. I am ready for law school to be done with forever because I am bored, lonely and missing socializing with anything that is not my TV. Being a poor newlywed does not lend many opportunities for finding things to do by yourself that do not involve regularly spending money. It has slowly crept up on me and I think that gradually every day the reality of what my daily life is has slowly sunk in. Yes I am complaining and I probably shouldn’t be. Lets face it I have a pretty sweet life that I shouldn’t have much to complain about. But I am complaining anyway because it helps me justify why I have basically been out right mean for the past week. I don’t think it helped that I went on a fabulous 2 day girl’s vacation a week ago with 9 of my most favorite friends. It was rejuvenating, invigorating and every other word that describes the ultimate mix of partying, playing, relaxing, laughing and everything else that you need from friends. Then, I came home and all of that was immediately gone. It is just me and the TV again. This is possibly the worst time for me to be in selfish, mean mode when Steve is in the midst of preparing for finals. Preparation for finals is soooo long though. It isn’t like my college stunts of cram the day before the test and call it good. All semester is preparing for finals and everyday is studying and it is this constant vicious cycle that will be around for the next three years. I guess I do need a hobby of some sort. Let finals be over already!
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